Take Me Out To The Ball Game

I can’t say the Jays deserve to be better than last in a surprisingly weak AL East but the time is coming to determine whether they have already packed it in for the season:

The question is, on an injury-ravaged team that has fallen into last place in the American League East with a record of 13-20 and is now 91/2 games behind the first-place Red Sox, how many more lacklustre efforts will the Jays’ executive have to witness before initiating change?

Watching the game last night, the Jay’s broadcast unfortunately, I was interested to check out where we will be seating tonight and then I realized, like watching a CFL game broadcast from a city east of Winnipeg, they were not showing the crowd or what claimed to be one.

Belgium: Brise-BonBons, Brasserie Fantome, Soy

I have to say I am in a conflict with this beer. I have liked all the Fantome I have tried…and I am supposed to approach these reviews with some sense of objectivity…supposedly. I love this beer. There I have said it. And, yes, I would marry it, seeing as you asked. Fresh pear juicy bright. There is a milkiness, a white pepperiness and cream of wheat. There is grain and there is toffee sweet. And there is green hop, arugula. Fabulous masses of thick lacing rich off-white foam over cloudy deep straw. Tea astringency in the end. Here’s the brewer’s website. All 61 BAers share the love.

XOXO. This is the beer you wish you had.

When I am At The Ballgame…

…I shall eat a hot dog. Nothing better to watch a crumbling home team better than by eating a hot dog. To be fair, tomorrow’s game will see Halliday on the mound so a Bosox loss would not be a fraud upon the gods but I will still root for the last knuckleballer and eat a hot dog and so will the lad. The selling of hot dogs is big stuff in MLB. The Mets apparently sell the most:

Shea Stadium leads all major league ballparks with annual consumption of more than 1.5 million hot dogs. (Yankee Stadium, interestingly enough, is not ranked among the top 10.) According to Aramark, most of Shea’s dogs are sold by 48 vendors who roam the stands, as opposed to concessionaires who sell from fixed locations. The average vendor sells 150 a game, and 10,000 to 12,000 a season. Working for commissions ranging from 13 percent to 16 percent depending on seniority, they can make $150 to $200 a game, and as much as $30,000 a season.

Some say it’s going to be a twenty buck dog but for me it is all about averages. In the next 30 days I plan to see MLB, Double A in Maine and a Watertown Wizards game just over the border and I shall eat a hot dog each time. I know the Watertown dogs are about two bucks so even if the wieners at Portland are six to eight, I think over all I can invest in the twenty dollar dog knowing that I can look over the end of it and seem Manny Ramerez about twenty feet away.

If you plan for these things, you can have these things. Apparently they may play the Canadian national anthem at Watertown, too. You just have to ask.

One Thing George Does Better

George gets a rough ride. For the most part he deserves it to one degree or another but this whole thing with the Queen is a bit much even for me:

He had stumbled on a line in his speech, saying that she had helped the United States “celebrate its bicentennial in 17…” Mr. Bush caught himself and corrected the date to 1976. He paused, winked, and looked to see if the Queen had taken offence.

Gee wizz. Can’t a guy get a break? Let’s be honest. He are some reasons a visit by HRH to my house would not go so well as a visit to the White House:

  • The teas is in a mug. Deal with it.
  • My daughter will ask “what’s with that hat?”
  • You may have to wait your turn.
  • Phil stays outside.

The last one is a biggie. And, yes, that’s a beer. Want one?

‘Sploding


Not to scale

Well, this was pretty good as things in the sky go but it would be better to have it visible in the sky. I mean when I was a kid there were still old folks who said when they were kids they saw Halley’s Comet in 1910 (or maybe the other one of that year) which meant when Comet Kohoutek went by in 1973, we thought the sky would be filled and went out in the back yard looking and looking and saw nothing. And when Halley’s came back in 1986 again I stood out looking and looking and maybe saw a smudge but probably not and then had better things to do. Heck, I’ve only caught the northern lights a few times and mainly they were green. Green. I mean whoopdie-do. Frankly, someone’s got some ‘splainin’ to do about the lack of sky ‘splosions.

One Day Later – Clemens Not Savior

Well, at least not a savior for the bullpen:

Although injuries have forced Clemens to miss only a few starts the past few seasons — a pesky groin has troubled him occasionally since his days with the Yankees — he has become a five- or six-inning pitcher. Despite often breezing through National League lineups, Clemens pitched into the seventh inning only six times in 19 starts last season and has not thrown into an eighth inning since August 2005. Manager Joe Torre will still need three or four innings from his increasingly worn relievers to preserve the leads Clemens may bequeath.

So why not spend the twenty-odd million you are spending for twenty odd six game starts on four pretty good or better relievers. I only say this to ensure the impending debacle does not tarnish me. Remember, if you are not part of the problem you are the enemy…or the terrorists win…or something like that.

Paul Tells A Tale Of Two Beer Festivals

paulstrip5

Bury St Edmunds Corn Exchange, home of the East Anglian Beer Festival
The East Anglian Beer Festival takes place in my hometown of Bury St Edmunds at the end of April. As it is on my doorstep, so to speak, it’s a must visit event. I normally pay a visit everyday, but this year was different. This year I’d planned to visit two different beer festivals in one week. Not only that but also several hundred miles apart to boot.

The East Anglian Beer Festival is what it says on the label “celebrating the best of East Anglian ale”. Now, apart from a singular trip to the Great British Beer Festival in London a couple of years ago, my beer festival attendances have been restricted purely to East Anglia. As a consequence I get to try a lot of local ales. Because of this there were few new beers to get me exited at this year’s EA festival. Not a problem as I had only a brief time to sample. Here’s what I sampled:

  • Maldon Gold from Mighty Oak – 3.8% – A bitter golden ale floral and lemon undertones. Hoppy with strong hints of sweet vanilla.
  • JHB (Jeffrey Hudson Bitter) from Oakham Ales – 3.8% – The colour of donkey wee, this ale tastes better than it looks. Light in colour, subtle in taste, hints of PLJ or lemon marmalade.
  • Windswept from Oulton Ales – 4.5% – Sweet dark copper coloured ale. Mass of flavours including honey and prunes. A most excellent ale.
  • Bitter from Winter’s Brewery – 3.8% – A bland could-have-been-anything sort of ale. A very boring beer. A distinct absence of the “advertised” fuggles taste. You can’t win them all!

The next day we set of for Bonnie Scotland. We planned to break our journey by a stop off in the Lake District. Keswick was our town of choice. I had hoped that staying at what was a traditional coaching inn would have given me the opportunity to at least have a decent ale-a-errific nightcap in pleasant surroundings. Not so. Three hand pumps but no real ale on. I was told that there might be some on later, “when it cleared.” What concerned me was how the bar steward tried to persuade me to have John Smith’s Creamflow, a disgustingly bland nitro-keg beer that I’d cross the street to avoid. When I said most certainly not, he looked totally bemused and went on to say that it was the most popular selling bitter in the country and that it’s always consistent. Well, in terms of quality I suspect suppositories are also consistent but I would recommend them as a substitute real ale either! He then went on to dis real ale because it sometimes went sour. They presumably don’t have a fast enough turnover, but with a salesman like that I’m not surprised. The man clearly knows fuck all about real ale.

paulstrip1In a situation like this there’s only one thing to do. Reach for one’s trusty Good Beer Guide. Bingo! A recommendation: The Dog and Gun also in Keswick. The Dog and Gun is a proper pub, four real ales, flag stones on the floor, a local’s pub with bags of atmosphere. Plus it serves good honest well cooked pub grub. I sampled two of their fine ales:

  • Yates Bitter – 3.8% – Distinct bitterness, a really good session beer, with some maltiness and no hint of hops.
  • Taste Ascent – Keswick Brewery – 4% – Very bitter golden ale. Too bitter for my taste. Hints of marmalade, again bereft of hoppiness.

paulstrip2…Hullo Jimmy. I’d like to introduce Jimmy…
 

The following day it was back on the road to the land of my Nana, north of the border. It was my first trip to a Scottish beer festival, nay my first visit to any beer festival north of The Wash and an interesting affair. Nosier, most certainly, and with a different demographic to the English beer festivals that I’m used to attending. East Anglian folk tend to be quite reserved, so the loudness and the extrovert nature of the locals I found needed a bit of adjusting to.

paulstrip4My raison d’etre for attending beer festivals is to try something new, as I intimated a little difficult in my hometown, but I suppose for those less dedicated or less travelled, that only attend their local beer festival, local beers are probably quite a novelty. Local beers for local people!

This was obviously the case at the 20th Paisley Beer Festival. The festival was spread over two rooms, one for Scottish ales and the other housing “foreign” ales – predominantly English ales. It came as no surprise to find that the hall containing the Scottish selection was more densely populated than the “foreign” hall.

The Caledonian Brewery Pipe band was at the festival, enjoying a few bevies and playing for the punters. There seemed to be an even greater mood of national pride at the time. It was just before the Scottish election so, as a consequence, the pipe band went down a storm with great cheers going up after each number. I was under the impression that this sort of thing was for tourists only, but clearly the local crowd loved it. Even more astonishing to a sasenach was the average age of the festival goers. It was a great deal lower than that of the festivals I normally attend in England. In my locale, youngsters would never be as enthusiastic about something as folksy as a pipe band. Not only was the average age a lot lower than in England, where beer festivals tend to be the domain of middle-aged bearded blokes in jumpers, but a large proportion of them were women. Young women in their late teens or early twenties, not wearing their vests and balancing precariously on frighteningly high heeled shoes, and seemingly able to out drink many of the men.

paulstrip3Here’s what I tasted at the festival:

  • Arran Blonde from Arran Brewery – 5% – A pale golden beer with that distinct hamster bedding flavour we’ve all come to know and love.
  • Piper’s Gold from Fyne Ales – 3.8% – A dark golden ale with an initial refreshing bitter taste and not a single hint of hops to be had.
  • Avalanche from Fyne Ales – 4.5% – A very pale and hoppy seasonal beer, perfect for supping on the banks of Loch Fyne.
  • Riptide from Brew Dog – 8% – A malty, smoky chocolately ale with traces of liquorice. Warming like liquid coal or a sharp intake of breath by someone with a 40 a day Capstan Full Strength habit.
  • Lia Fail from Inveralmond – 4.7% – A dark beer with a well-balanced sweetness, malt and slight chocolate tones.
  • Red Cuillin from Isle Of Skye Brewing Co – 4.2% – Smooth, well rounded dark copper malty ale. Also with burnt butterscotch musings.
  • Kelburn Red Smiddy from Kelburn Brewing – 4.1% – A red ale, complex in character with a dry bitterness and a citrus finish.
  • Cuil Hill from Sulwath Brewers – 3.6% – A light copper ale with bursts of malt and hints of honey.
  • Stairway To Heaven from Triple fff Brewery – 4.6% – The only “foreign” beer that I tried and I’m ashamed to say the best that I tasted at the festival. A pale brown ale with lusciously ripe mouthfuls of raspberries and blackberries. All that glitters is gold!

A great festival with a friendly and lively crowd. A wonderful trip.

Personal Interactive Website?

Noted in passing, what exactly do the editors at The Toronto Star do when they are not thinking of new ways to describe things?

A Toronto man doggedly working the Internet has put together the route his sister took up to the day she mysteriously disappeared in Syria. Matthew Vienneau, an information technology consultant, created a personal interactive website, or blog, to learn from other travellers where his sister Nicole was, what she was wearing and where she was going.

If you don’t know what a blog is, would you really need anything more than “website” to relate to the less techie?

Rogers Clemens Becomes A Yankee Again

I think to be fair, it will be good to see him pitch again – even if Clemens is a Yankee [Ed.: pittuie!] – but there are a number of aspects to this move to sign the great elder statesman, an athlete who is…my age.

  • 1. He is a Mercenary. Clemens is not a teammate in this situation. Between starts he is not on the bench, he isn’t even in New York. The deal is he stays at home in Texas when he feels like it.
  • 2. Clemens’s return is not the Second Coming. The Yankees are as poor as they have ever been in my recollection. Beyond the injuries, some players just have not panned out as promised and the bullpen is simply weak. Clemens shuttling in every fix or six days will not change that.
  • 3. We don’t need no Roger Clemens. Even though the Red Sox probably offered him about ten million less, where would Roger fit in? He is not as good now as the Sox #2 pitcher, Beckett who is 6-0 with a 2.72 ERA on May 7th. Realistically, what with the Dice-K deal, Clemens would be a #4. And even if the fifth starter Tavarez (who I have underestimated before) falters, Okajima could be the fifth starter for the Sox by the fall.
  • 4. Greater Disruptions may be ahead. Forget last year’s soap opera between Jeter and A-Rod. The Yankees are the team of many fragile egos from the interventionist owner to the young pitchers being pushed too early. A number of missteps have placed them in this position. Clemens may serve as a negative, a disruption due to the attention, and soon if the team does not somehow become what it has not been to date so far in 2007.

Sure, I will be excited when he likely makes his debut against the Red Sox in early June and if he wins he wins. It’ll be fun. He may even single handedly add three to five wins that the Yankees would not otherwise have. But they are already five and a half back. Will Rivera regain his form as civilization’s greatest closer? And will he make Damon bat over .240 or Mientkiewicz hit .200? Doubt it. Maybe.