Author: Alan

Sputtering Yankees

That is what the New York Times headline read this morning: “The Sputtering Yankees Look for a Jump Start”. Amazing.

With the Bosox now only 5.5 back of the Dark Forces, after being down 10.5 not that long ago, the gods are setting me up again, taking me once again from despair then hope then the inevitable crush. The White Sox catcher below is not shamed by their play – he knows the other man has forgetten.

Five Foot Square Brewery

Happy news from Wales where they have the common sense to allow tiny batch breweries to exist – the smallest in the world in a former outhouse has just reopened. Practically impossible in Canada where a whacking excise fee has to be paid unless you fall into section 172(1) of the Excise Act:

172. (1) Notwithstanding sections 170 and 171, the duties of excise thereby imposed shall not be levied or collected on beer that is made or brewed by any person for personal or family consumption or to be given away without charge and that is not for sale or commercial use.

Notice that “not for charge” but still “commercial use” nonetheless requires the whacking fee – pubs couldn’t even give it away. Then, under section 3(1) of the Brewery Regulations [C.R.C., c. 565] you have to phone the government up when you do your job:

3. (1) A brewer shall establish a production day in respect of the brewer’s brewery and shall, in writing, notify the appropriate superior officer of the time of commencement and the duration of the production day.

and then pony up:

5. The excise duty on beer shall be charged and computed on the quantities of beer produced during each production day…

All to stop the madness of Canadian pubs making 9 gallons of real ale every two weeks in an outhouse. Thanks government.

Dell Inquisition

Next time you are subject to a service tech guy going through a list of 273 apparently innane questions before getting to the one that you think is the problem with your so-cheap-it-would-cost-less-to-buy-another printer, just remember that once in a while #157 or so is the question that asks:

Sir, are there any other obstructions near your printer’s roller like, say, a tiny toy?

Oh yes, that tiny toy I had not noticed for weeks is jammed there under the roller. Ummm…I’m just gonna hang up now. Bye. No, thank you. Bye.

14 Bucks to Nap!

From the op-ed pages of today’s New York Times:

Manhattan now has MetroNaps, a collection of high-tech individual sleep pods on the 24th floor of the Empire State Building. There you can go offline for about the same cost, $14 for 20 minutes, as going online in the Atlanta airport. It’s not certain that this idea will catch on, although nobody blinks at the thought of paying to sleep overnight in the city in a hotel room. But the idea of making your way to Midtown and up to the 24th floor, and then paying for a nap seems to contradict the very spirit of napping. Which is, simply, to nod off.

The fact that there aren’t many good places to nap in New York does not mean that there isn’t a nearly universal need to nap. Every afternoon about 2:45 the city settles into a temporary coma. You can feel the biological lights dimming. Commuters do everything they can to save it for the train home. Cubicle-workers slump against the dividers or drool on their desks as productively as possible. As for those poor people trapped in PowerPoint presentations – well, for them there is no help.

I am a big believer in snoozing so this is important stuff.    Hmm…let me see. 14 USD = about 19 CND times three equals….59 bucks for an hour’s nap?!?!

Who naps for 20 minutes?   That is called a day dream.    Some clarification around the definitions would be nice before we start calling it “the napping industry“.    Napping consultant.   I could do that.   Google shows it is a clear subject.    First, though, I have to perfect my disruption analysis theory for business consulting.  

Amazing Race

Watching tonight’s Amazing Race it is amazing how conditioned I have become to the premise of a reality show that we are watching for the worst of human behaviour to come out. No one appears now with six teams left to consider that it is a game. Like Survivor, they are obsessed, they are mean and they are looking to trip the others as much physically as in the game. Like Fear Factor there is the barfing test.

I watched the movie Network last weekend and ever since, I can’t get over how accurate many of its implicit forecasting was, the obsession with the stupid and the sensational. I wonder if there will ever be a peaking followed by a reversion to more conservative views of “reality” – will the last few years be noted for how sordid this stuff is or how tame?