Tag: Non-partisan blog posts

The Tantrama Tapes

Shock, disgust and some confusion have spread from Ottawa to Atlantic Canada with the revelation of tapes of conversations between a senior official in the Tantrama City Government and a top cabinet member in the Federal Unity Government. In the tapes, made somewhere between 25 and 30 May 2007, Tantrama City’s Minister of ACOA Relations and Random Infrastructure Development Designate “Little Cousin” Kenny Archibald MacKay Morris, left, is heard seeking an arrangement with the Federal Government which is being described as “a transaction”. Also heard on the tape is recently appointed Deputy Prime Minister Ken Dryden, right, returned along with the balance of Paul Martin’s third minority government just weeks ago.

TRANSCRIPT:

Morris: Hey Kenny!
Dryden: (muffled) Why hello (unclear), Kenny.
Morris: Siddown, Siddown, Kenny. (whisper) Call me Skipper. (louder) ’72, eh, Kenny, pretty good, eh?
Dryden: What?
Morris: You know, Russia. Pretty fine…right on…eh? eh?
Dryden: Sure…ya…sure…you asked me to meet? We certainly could have met in my offices on the Hill, you know, Tantrama City issues are top priority for the new Unity Government, Ken…


Scene of the meeting

Morris: (whisper) Skipper! Remember to call me Skipper!
Dryden: Sure…ummm…Skipper. Have you got a problem with your coat? No? What can I help you with?
Morris: Well, I wonder if we might discuss an arrangement with…
Dryden: WHAT? (unclear) nuts?
[Background: sounds of chairs shifting.]
Morris: (whispers quickly) Siddown, siddown, Kenny, shhh. I’m not talkin about anything that it not done all the time. What I am suggesting is with the upcoming vote in the New Atlantica and all the crap coming out of St. John’s and Fredericton, you lads are gonna need all the pals you can get. So what I am suggesting is that I will accept an ACOA grant in the amount of $87,000 and in return I will accept a position in the Senate.
[Pause – 15 seconds.]
Dryden: (quietly) excuse me?
Morris: I will accept an ACOA grant in the amount…
Dryden: No, I heard what you said. It is just not really…umm…a deal. It’s just you getting…two different things.
Morris: No, it isn’t.
Dryden: Yes, it is.
Morris: No, it isn’t.
Dryden: Yes. Yes, it is.
[Pause – 10 seconds.]
Morris: Oh…well, what do people usually ask for?
Dryden: I don’t know. No one has ever suggested such a (unclear)(unclear)(unclear) thing. I have never done (unclear). [Background: chair scrapes.] Look, umm, I think we better leave it there for now (unclear) call in a few (unclear)…
Morris: (louder) Are you gonna finish that fritter?
Dryden: No (unclear) take that (unclear) for you troubles.
[Background: door slam.]
Morris: (whisper) Bonus. [Pause] Aw, friggit. Forgot to get my friggin’ hockey card signed. Frig.
[Tape ends]

There has been no response to date from the Office of First Minister Designate of the Tantrama City Provisional Government, John McDonald MacKay Archibald.

Possible Charges

Again, the moral objectionists, boo-hoo bleaters all, have come out full of rage over the Gurmant Grewal tapes. To briefly review, Tim talked to GG and GG taped it without telling Tim. That is OK. But what they talked about? Now the RCMP is listening to the tapes. Moral ragers say “HANG TIM” and “BRING DOWN THE GOVERNMENT!”… though admittedly they say that every day.

What might the RCMP do? Let’s look at some law and consider how it works. The RCMP have to read the Criminal Code and have to find a section under which to review the impugned activity. For someone to be charged, their acts and bits of thoughts must fall into line with all elements of an offence as set out in the section. [Other bits of thought like motive are not so much considered.] Here then are a couple is the section which would be reviewed in this situation:

119. (1) Every one who:

(a) being the holder of a judicial office, or being a member of Parliament or of the legislature of a province, corruptly

(i) accepts or obtains,
(ii) agrees to accept, or
(iii) attempts to obtain,

any money, valuable consideration, office, place or employment for himself or another person in respect of anything done or omitted or to be done or omitted by him in his official capacity, or

(b) gives or offers, corruptly, to a person mentioned in paragraph (a) any money, valuable consideration, office, place or employment in respect of anything done or omitted or to be done or omitted by him in his official capacity for himself or another person,

is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding fourteen years.

(2) No proceedings against a person who holds a judicial office shall be instituted under this section without the consent in writing of the Attorney General of Canada.

Chatting in some contexts then could be bad for both chatters. And, as you can see, unlike the sections relating for public officials at s.124 and s.125 , where the crime is about the generic concept of giving or getting “reward”, here in 119 it is about giving or getting only the listed things and one of those listed – but one of those things is an “office”. [I still think “reward” is in fact a very interesting word in these tapes as it is used, perhaps unfortunately – some folks might wish “shoe” or “grannies old soup” were used instead.] So, if two folk sit around thinking about how “offices” might be transacted that is maybe possibly bad. Again with the lists, section 118 defines “office” so that it includes

(a) an office or appointment under the government,

(b) a civil or military commission, and

(c) a position or an employment in a public department

Which offices does this include? Note also that it is important to see a separate element in the word “corruptly” – that word alone is the fall back for the defence as the Crown would have to prove some sort of particular wicked intent. I wonder if there is a case out there on the meaning of “corruptly” by a Parliamentarian? Note also that the Federal Attorney General has to agree under 119(2). Hmmm – interestink. We need not go beyond that for educational purposes the noo.

But wait. Consider if one side was setting the other up without an intention to find themselves in that hot water. Consider this Criminal Code provision of general application:

22. (1) Where a person counsels another person to be a party to an offence and that other person is afterwards a party to that offence, the person who counselled is a party to that offence, notwithstanding that the offence was committed in a way different from that which was counselled.

(2) Every one who counsels another person to be a party to an offence is a party to every offence that the other commits in consequence of the counselling that the person who counselled knew or ought to have known was likely to be committed in consequence of the counselling.

It would appear to me that if one was trying to get another to do a wrong – whatever the first person’s motives – that too is a crime. You cannot in effect chat someone up into a crime – taking advantage of their corruptability – and to do so without being held accountable for that inducement. Sensible. We do not want that sort of thing going on, either. So if you are in on the deal – bad. If you are not in on the deal but make someone else commit to the deal – also bad. Depending on the facts. Which only the RCMP know about – except for a few of others. We just have the transcripts or maybe 30% of them. I am sure lil’ Stevie told GG all this.

I have to go make supper. I’ll plug in more links later. Dinner done and good. But still comments on potential defences to these sections might be in order.

Free At Last, Free At Last!!!

The news broke last evening around suppertime, forcing First Minister Designate of the Tantrama City Provisional Government, John McDonald MacKay Archibald, from his regular Thursday night boiled dinner and into the national spotlight. This is his only official statement so far:

After the events of last week from the west – the survival of Paul Martin’s third minority government in a row, the collapse of the co-leadership and other arrangements between Peter MacKay and Belinda Stronach of the New Conservative Party, the Declaration of Albertaria made by Premier Harper – I thought we might be in for a quiet spell but the news of this Order-in-Council has taken us all by surprise. The people of Atlantic Canada had been expecting confirmation of the new capital region and steps towards a new elected government. We hardly expected semi-sovereignty and a practical level of autonomy from the rest of the nation. Myself and Cleatus Morris, Deputy First Minister Designate of the Tantrama City Provisional Government, will be meeting with our legal counsel after we have our pie to review next steps.

Early reports are confirming that, apparently in a rush to get out of Ottawa before the long sleep of Parliament, the summer recess, the Federal Unity Cabinet under the direction of Prime Minister Paul Martin has – in addition to announcing the long planned confirmation of the new capital at Tantrama City – extended asymetrical federalism for a third time after Quebec and Alberta unexpectedly, irreversibly and perhaps erroneously granting the four Atlantic provinces their own regional legislature with devolved powers of a super-province as well as a direct draw on the national treasury plus exclusive powers over the fisheries, marine transport, ferries, inter-provincial bridge building and, oddly, the navy. Cleatus Morris, above left, Deputy First Minister Designate of the Tantrama City Provisional Government, describing himself this evening as First Admiral and Deputy First Minister Designate of the Tantrama City Provisional Government was reported as saying “Oh Happy Day, Oh Happy Day” as he danced a jig badly, stumbling and falling with glee as if intoxicated.

Protests and gatherings have already been reported in Guysborough, Souris and throughout the St. John River Valley. Communications with Newfoundland and Labrador have apparently been cut.

Angst At Lunch

To be quite fair the decision was reversed in about 24 hours but was everyone in the PEI Tory government asleep when this passed by their desks?

The Reuters story includes this:

“How many times, when you get upset or worried or concerned about things, is it in the middle of the day? It’s usually at 3 or 4 o’clock in the morning when you wake up,” said Joan Wright, executive director of the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention based in Edmonton, Alberta. The hotline received about 1,400 calls a year and about 50 were from people contemplating suicide, health groups said. “One of the things I was hearing is the government felt there weren’t enough suicide-related calls,” Wright said. Prince Edward Island, Canada’s smallest province with a population of about 137,000 people, is trying to tame its budget deficit. The hotline cost about C$30,000 ($24,000) a year to run. “It’s a very small amount of money in our view,” said Reid Burke, executive director of the Canadian Mental Health Association.

When there is a call for one in every hundred people a year, you would think that would be enough to keep such a cheap service going let alone raise flags. According to Stats Canada, in 1996 PEI’s suicide rate was at or slightly above (depending on the end of the range) the national average: 15/3,862 or 20/3,933. Given the cash-strapped government’s decision to become a casino site and the highly-arguable rise in suicides that follow, the original thought to cut the line could be taken as cynical as, say, cutting auditor-general funding when faced with a scandal related to government pointlessly propping up dying private enterprise.

Tantrama City Gazette, 19 May 2007

In the run-up to today’s the confidence vote in Ottawa on the third Martin government elected just two weeks, a surprise move was made today by Cleatus Morris, Deputy First Minister Designate of the Tantrama City Provisional Government.

Announcing he was joining the Opposition at this important moment in time, Morris indicated that his decision was in anticipation of the election of the Conservative Party in Ottawa and “the need to ensure a friendly face was in regional office when the new party “gots control of the purse strings and the plans for the Morris…err…Tidnish to Minas canal.”

When contacted in Ottawa, remaining Conservative Party of Canada co-leader Peter Mackay said – “who?” Morris later told the CBC that he spoke with former PM Brian Mulroney today to discuss her move. “Byron said to me, ‘I’m your friend. . . I support you as a friend,'” he said. Mulroney was not available for comment other than to ask through his spokesperson – “who?”


Hastily Gathered Press Conference

First Minister Designate of the Tantrama City Provisional Government, John McDonald MacKay Archibald, expressed surprise at a hastily gathered press conference for no greater reason, he said, than there was

“…no friggin’ Opposition to jump to, the boneheaded numbskull. The Tantrama City Provisional Government is entirely appointed and temporary awaiting the Order in Council establishing the time-line for unification of the Maritime Provinces and the affirmation of Tantrama City as the new capital for the new province.”

FMD Archibald, below right, suggested he would meet with DFMD Morris later today to clarify the situation, adding “he knows he isn’t supposed to have that second mug of tea.”

Rumours have been reported that should the Martin government actually fall, as nearly occurred back in 2005, there might be a challenge to the system of regional apppointments to the Provisional Government, especially after the recent string of office creations including those of Assistant Deputy First Minister Designate Mrs. Mary MacKay Archibald Morris; Minister of ACOA Relations and Random Infrastructure Development Designate “Little Cousin” Kenny Archibald MacKay Morris; as well as First Air Marshall and SlingTide Project Comptroller Designate “Wee Andy” Andrew Archibald MacKay Morris, by his guardian ad litem Cleatus Morris, Deputy First Minister Designate.

Hopeless Harper

I zipped this off at Ben’s in response to yet another dense comment from someone other than Ben (as Ben is as bright a conservative thinker as I have come across) about how the Tories are great because the Liberals are bad…and then I thought it was rather good. It’s a list of Harper’s mishandlings of the last ten days or so:

…talk about not having a clue. Just look at his acts:

  • no reference to the policy of the CPC when the polls looked good,
  • no knocking on the door of Rideau Hall when some claimed the constitution was in crisis,
  • no stopping of Parliament just a milksop early adjournment after participating in the business of the House,
  • not even realizing your party’s edges were getting chipped away.

He blew it and yet you will call him a great leader. Why? Because he is not as crooked as the Quebec wing of the Liberals? That is a hell of a claim to fame.

Has he done anything right in the last few days? That last one is a doozie. Harper says he was speaking just a few days ago to his wife that Belinda would leave. He apparently did not share those fears with her or anyone else in the party as everyone else is shocked today.

I fear the Tories are in no mooded for reflection – it will remain good enough for them to point out the Grit’s dog is ugly rather than notice their own has got a wicked case of the mange and a funny smell as well. Wells may be right that Harper will not lose his position over this but that is likely due to the need for Tories to ride their pony into the ground publicly in a great show.

Update: One more thing, mentioned in the comments earlier. It appears that Harper’s leadership skills certainly do not make it across the country to the two remaining Tory MPs of Newfoundland, Messers Doyle and Hearn. This according to The Globe this evening:

“There are so many things happening, so I’m going to wait for a day or two before actually saying beyond a shadow of a doubt that … I’m voting for or against it,” Mr. Doyle, the MP for St. John’s East, said. “I’m just going to play those cards when the time comes around.” Mr. Hearn was more coy. “I’ve been around politics long enough to know that you never know what’s going to happen, so we’ll find out on Thursday,” Mr. Hearn told reporters Monday. Their votes assumed more importance Tuesday as news broke that Conservative MP Belinda Stronach had defected to the Liberals. The Liberal government can likely survive with the support of two Independent MPs, instead of all three. Meanwhile, Newfoundland Premier Danny Williams [Ed.: a Conservative, too] is keeping up the pressure on the two MPs in the hope they will vote with the ruling Liberals. Mr. Williams has said Mr. Doyle and Mr. Hearn should vote for the budget because it includes the province’s revamped, $2.6-billion offshore energy deal with Ottawa. “Mr. Hearn is talking in terms of a vote for Canada,” Mr. Williams said Monday. “Now, if he wants to trade off the country for his own province, then that’s his decision.”

Solid.

Tsunami Relief?

Care of Jay, I was directed to the Financial Times which ran a string of stories last week on the failings of tsunami relief. This is quite shocking:

  • May 12, 2005: “Within a week a Diageo supplier began sending the equivalent of eight 20ft shipping containers of drinking water to survivors in Indonesia’s Aceh province, the area hit hardest by the disaster. Almost five months later, that water has yet to reach Aceh or survivors. It is still sitting on the docks in the North Sumatran port city of Medan. The water is part of a daunting pile of international relief supplies from aid groups, rotary clubs and companies such as Dupont and The Body Shop, lying idle as those struggling to make new lives in Aceh continue to clamour for help. ‘We understood there might be some difficulty in getting the water out there. But it’s a bit of a disappointment when we learn it’s still sitting on the docks,’ says Ron Ainsbury, Diageo’s director of corporate affairs in Sydney.”
  • 12 May 2005: “Five months after the Asian tsunami disaster, many hundreds of containers of aid are stranded at ports in Indonesia and Sri Lanka because of bureaucratic bungling and missing paperwork. As many as 500 containers, a quarter of all aid shipped to Sri Lanka after the Boxing Day disaster, are on the dockside in Colombo.”
  • 14 May 2005: “As of yesterday morning the equivalent of 1,500 20ft containers of aid – almost a third of those that had arrived since the December 26 disaster – remained stuck at the port of Medan, the main hub for supplies heading to Aceh, the hardest hit province.”

Most importantly perhaps for Canadians is what Mark Styne wrote in the Chicago Sun-Times today, 15 May 2005:

Bolton would have no problem getting nominated as U.N. ambassador if he were more like Paul Martin. Who? Well, he’s prime minister of Canada. And in January, after the tsunami hit, he flew into Sri Lanka to pledge millions and millions and millions in aid. Not like that heartless George W. Bush back at the ranch in Texas. Why, Prime Minister Martin walked along the ravaged coast of Kalumnai and was, reported Canada’s CTV network, “visibly shaken.” President Bush might well have been shaken, but he wasn’t visible, and in the international compassion league, that’s what counts. So Martin boldly committed Canada to giving $425 million to tsunami relief. “Mr. Paul Martin Has Set A Great Example For The Rest Of The World Leaders!” raved the LankaWeb news service. You know how much of that $425 million has been spent so far? Fifty thousand dollars — Canadian. That’s about 40 grand in U.S. dollars. The rest isn’t tied up in Indonesian bureaucracy, it’s back in Ottawa. But, unlike horrible “unilateralist” America, Canada enjoys a reputation as the perfect global citizen, renowned for its commitment to the U.N. and multilateralism. And on the beaches of Sri Lanka, that and a buck’ll get you a strawberry daiquiri. Canada’s contribution to tsunami relief is objectively useless and rhetorically fraudulent.

I’ve noted a couple of weirdnesses with the tsunami relief but, if this is true, this will be explosive and, as Jay says, worth one or more Question Periods in Ottawa before, say, Thursday. I know Mark Styne is a poster boy for a certain class of crank so I will take his allegations right now with a grain or two of salt – but it is certainly time to show the accounting.

Vatican Radiowave Crime!

You just never see a story like this every day – a cardinal convicted in a sordid shortwave radio plot:

A court in Rome on Monday convicted a Vatican cardinal and the head of the city-state’s radio station for electromagnetic pollution. They were given 10-day suspended sentences, which they have appealed. Cardinal Roberto Tucci, former head of Vatican Radio’s management committee, and the Rev. Pasquale Borgomeo, the station’s director general, were charged with “dangerous launching of objects,” referring to the station’s electromagnetic waves. Residents of the Rome suburb Cessano near the station complained they could hear Vatican Radio broadcasts through their lamps because of electromagnetic disturbances.

That is just beautiful. Sadly, it is not just funny nutty tale as the high intensity transmitters, still using shortwaves to broadcast to the globe, are a possible source of illness in the neighbouring residential area. Within the actual city, there are around 100 Kw worth of transmitters dated to the early 1950s. That is a lot less than the 1700 Kw worth of tranmitters Canada has at Sackville, NB (seen left 60 years ago when style was king) but they are surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of acres of salt marsh as opposed to Italian suburbs. This 2001 defence of Vatican Radio‘s transmitters indicates that the allegation was leukemia rates were higher and is contrary to this statement in support of the correlation between RF and leukemia. It also indicated that the district of Rome in question is not cheek to jowl with Vatican City’s walls but one called Santa Maria in Galeria where the Vatican’s transmitters pump out 2410 Kw under an agreement reached decades ago. The VR PR looks better in Italian but what doesn’t.

The defence I came across in favour of the Vatican contains one most charming argument in terms of its sensitivity to public health issues:

All the more “correct” were the observations made by the director of Vatican Radio, Father Borgomeo, who recalled that in 1951 the area where the transmitters were being installed was virtually uninhabited. The development of the area, and the construction of homes there, began only after the transmission facility was in place. So one might ask: If there is a direct link between the electromagnetic transmissions and cancer statistics, why aren’t the local builders and administrators, who allowed the residential developments in the area, called to account? For that matter, why are only radio broadcasters being investigated, and not television stations? After all, the transmission facilities of the state-owned RAI television network are located right in the heart of Rome, on Via Teulada.

Amazing and takes no responsibility for the fact that 2000 Kw of the 2410 Kw were built since 1976. No wonder they can hear the radio through light bulbs. I bet if they checked, there also would be a low instance of perms being ordered at hair dress salons as well.


“I’m on the Vatican, woe-oh, Radi-o…”

Tantrama City Mega-Project Leak


Leaked photo of Bay of Fundy SlingTide Project Plan

Plans including photographs of recent tests, right and above, have been uncovered this week for what is being called the Tantrama City SlingTide project, heralded in leaked draft press releases from both Ottawa and the provisional government of the pending Maritime Union located at Tantrama City as a “a cornerstone of economic development” for the new Maritime mega-city and the entire mega-province being created under Liberal Party of Canada direction as part of its effort to “rationalize the Canadian reality” as it enters leadership its third minority government in two years. Apparently working on the principle that the mightiest tides in the world can create shipping speeds unheard of in conventional docking and disembarking ports, a new harbour area in the Tantrama City Economic Zone, provisionally called Port Archibald, has been identified as the base for this new marine transport technology.

Presented with the leaked plans for the mega-project, and its estimated cost of 23 billion dollars, First Minister Designate of the Tantrama City Provisional Government, John McDonald MacKay Archibald, the Federal Liberal appointee, announced this Thursday: “We are planning to apply a lot of new technology, a lot of technology, yes, and a fair chunk of ACOA funding as well to make this dream of a new city for all peoples within the Maritime Union zone.” When asked what economic purpose the SlingTide project might actually serve, FMD Archibald, after a moment’s pause, stated that given access to the St. Lawrence Seaway has been restricted, it is expected that Port Archibald will return the new Maritime Union to its rightful place in world shipping lanes, providing access to Maritime goods throughout the northeastern of the United States and what he called “the Caribee” on a “for profit” basis, mentioning something about coal and potatoes as well as “a fair chunk of ACOA funding.”


Map of Mega Project Zone
showing Port Archibald and proposed canal

Word from Ottawa is that Opposition co-Leader Belinda Stronach is outraged at the transfer of so much of Ontario’s funding for the proposed mega-province, mega-city and mega-projects, including the Tidnish-Minas Canal and Northumberland Tidal Power, at a time of national crisis given Alberta’s default announced by Prime Minister Harper of that province from Calgary this month as well as the on-going negotiations with the national government of Quebec. Opposition co-Leader Peter MacKay has not issued a statement to this point.