Tantrama City Health Summit


First Plenary Session, June 10, 2007

Given the surprise devolution of powers two weeks ago to Atlantic Canada through its new Free Zone and Autonomous Regional Capital, Tantrama City this weekend will be the scene of a swiftly arranged summit to determine what now could be done with the health care fiasco two years after the end of universal medical coverage triggered by the June 2005 Supreme Court of Canada case, Chaoulli v. Quebec given Tantrama City’s new and surprising access to the Federal treasury. Representatives of the four Atlantic Provinces as well as representatives of the breakaway regions of Cape Breton, New Brunswick’s Acadian Penninsula and the Souris Downtown Region (Alleged) met in the shadows of rapidly forming capital plaza of Tantrama City in temporary facilities to work out the implications for health care of new financial decision-making powers extended irrevocably to Tantrama City’s Provisional Government.

Calgary: August 2006

In the two years since the ruling, much has changed in Canada, requiring delegates at the summit to consider many models and exercise prudence. In Quebec, the ruling was been extended by subsequent cases under the Quebec Charter of Rights to all government operations leading to reverse nationalization and the eventual buy out and lease-back of the entire provincial government by Quebecor and the impending renaming of the province as Quebecor. In Calgary, former Premier former Prime Minister now Prime Deacon Harper of the renamed Congregation of Alberta faces only 23% popularity after that province’s ravaging by bird flu in the summer of 2006, the following social collapse, mass evacuations and subsequent default on equalization payments all due to Harper’s decision to cease all public health activities by the province on his theory, announced after the Chaoulli decision, that “the private sector…will fill in…any gaps…left by these changes…seamlessly…in a swift…and moral…fashion…”

In this context the representatives of all Atlantic Canadian communities will meet over the next four days to determine how the newly and mistakenly granted access to the Federal Treasury can arrest and reverse the collapse of healthcare within Canada’s poorest region. At the first plenary session this morning, First Minister Designate of the Tantrama City Provisional Government, John McDonald MacKay Archibald, left, introduced by a bagpipe rendition of “We’re In The Money” praised the leaders of Atlantic Canada for gathering so soon after the announced devolution of fiscal powers and regional autonomy, especially given the “quite valid but, frankly, pointless dissatisfaction voiced over the lack of constitutional precedent or electoral support for the recent realignment and the decisions to be made at this glorious summit,” comments which were met with stoney silence from the room except for the delegates from the Souris Downtown Region (Alleged) who cheered wildly.