Is It Hockey or Me?

Today’s column from Damien Cox hits the nail on the head – something big is up:

Those who cling to strains of discredited orthodoxy, suggesting that the NHL doesn’t need to change one single thing about its game, are now clearly the minority. The voices calling out for a faster, more offensive NHL are becoming deafening. In addition, the NHL faces a strike this fall that most think will kill at least one season and sweep away more than a few teams.

All in all, there is a very good chance that what will be played in the NHL in 2005 or 2006 will be a very different game than we see today. That would be a good thing. There are too many clubs, too many games, too few stars and too many grinders. It is now difficult to associate with a sport – even in a market like mine that boasts two top teams within two hours drive – when the games devolve into roller derby tactics along the boards, debates whether eye protection is for sissies and the thrilling spectacle of yet another dump into the corner. For years, I watched at least a full game on the TV once a week, listened to a couple on radio, bought the kids souveniers and caught at least one game live a year. I was a pretty good customer, I would have thought. No more. I’m bored. My remedies?

  • Ditch centres. Five a side all game.

  • Big ice. Watching NHL after a good soccer game on Fox Sports World (with its 22 players in play on a big field) is like watching dogs brawl in a closet.

  • Even smaller goal pads. It is insane how in recent years goalies have started to look like leviathans with shoulders as wide as the crease. Leave something significant to aim the puck at.

  • Five games for any fight minimum. I won’t put a game on the TV these days for fear the kids will watch it. Not because of checking or hammering a guy into the boards. The fights. I would turn any TV show off that regularly shows grown men battering each others faces with their fists until one falls down. With NHL, I can’t be bothered turning it on, if the three and five year old are around.

  • Start the season in late October and finish by the end of April.

None of these things will happen, of course, because the NHL fears change. Bigger ice surface and short seasons means fewer tickets sold. Fights attract a core audience of NASCAR crash droolers. Five on five is too familiar a pattern of play. So, until the strike, I’ll watch the odd game. When the strike is on, I won’t care that much. And when it is back with 2/3’s of the teams, I’ll probably watch the odd game.